A Diner, A Daughter, and Deliberations

So it's last Saturday, a rare golden Pittsburgh spring day, and Spicy Food Guy is enjoying a Father Daughter breakfast at the Dor-Stop Restaurant in Dormont, PA. A comfy establishment, the Dor-Stop. Been on Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives on the Food Network.

Spicy Food Guy is enjoying perfectly cooked sunny side up eggs, bacon, and french toast topped with gobs of butter. Intellectual Eldest Daughter of Spicy Food Guy (IEDOSFG) is munching on some banana chocolate chip pancakes. The food is scrumptious and hearty. The company is better.

The occasion is IEDOSFG's 18th birthday, which isn't technically until the next day. It's OK, though. Father Daughter meals have become a tad more infrequent over the past couple of years. A busy high school career, scads of friends, and the ability to drive have made IEODSFG a young lady in demand. Graduation is weeks away, and the start of college is a hazy horizon that is coming into focus as each day passes. Spicy Food Guy looks thoughtfully across the table at this tall, slender, attractive young lady. SFG is smart enough to soak in these moments into his heart. Remember this, he whispers to himself, this is the good stuff.

Spicy Food Guy watches IEDOSFG as she chats and catches him up on the latest scoop. Socially, she is graceful and relaxed. Able to engage the biggest introvert in easy conversation. All of that from her Mother. But her eyes dart perceptively back and forth, a manifestation of a powerful and curious intellect that is almost relentless. Her eyes miss little, she is already a critical thinker. This from her Dad.

All of this gets SFG to thinking about his own youth, his summer after high school graduation. Summer of 1981. SFG worked as a ride operator at Kings Island; a water ride with a spinning platform. For SFG, a lot of walking, a lot of mopping, and hours of sweeping with an old straw broom. The sweeping was needed because there was a lemonade stand next to the water ride. The lemonade came with half a lemon. Folks would wait in line and drink their lemonade, invariably tossing their cups and half lemons onto the concrete pavilion that represented the waiting area for the water ride. So there Spicy Food Guy would be, 11:00 pm, sweeping up mounds of lemons and watching the end-of-night fireworks. Head cocked upward, feet sore from standing all day, and a small pool of sweat in the middle of his back -- that's how SFG's evening usually ended.

God SFG loved that summer. The big crowds, the laughter, the heat and humidity. Friends made over hard work, and friends lost over silly arguments tied to beer we weren't accustomed to drinking. And crushes. Big crushes on teenage girls with deep tans and sly smiles. Working all day shifts on our feet and popping back up the next day as if we had rested for a week. Fireworks every night. I think that summer about lasted forever.

Which gets Spicy Food Guy to thinking. He posits that a commonly accepted myth is that the wisdom associated with aging leads us to be better decision makers. We are older, we say, we are wiser.

But is our judgment better? Spicy Food Guy ponders this. At age 17, SFG's passions were pure and his heart was clear. The people SFG loved and admired at age 17 have by and large turned out to be terrific people -- teachers, volunteers, honest attorneys (yes, they exist). Some of the people SFG admired in his thirties and forties were assholes, but they had cash and heady titles so that made it OK. 17 year old SFG had no time or place for assholes and he gave them no quarter. He has not been so consistent almost 30 years later.

Spicy Food Guy loves his life, and he is particularly proud of his family and accomplishments. But he wishes, sometimes, that he had his SFG's 17 year old heart -- full of power and piss and vinegar and passion. SFG also understands that a yearning for one's youth is inevitable, and it is one of those things that can be triggered by a morning breakfast with a beautiful young lady that shares one's last name.

Spicy Food Guy supposes he is just jealous of IEDOSFG, with the power of youth radiating from her soul and an long open paths in front of her. She will make choices, discover treasures, savor a wide world. But now is breakfast with Dad. IEDOSFG is a beautiful young lady, Dad is quietly proud, and the breakfast is good.

Excellent Ribs at Jaspers

As always, for reasons best left unknown to the American public, Spicy Food Guy found himself flung far from home; this time landing in a restaurant named Jasper's in the Lone Star Sate. Traveltex.com, which bills itself as the tourism site for Texas, uses the tagline "Texas. It's like a whole other country." Is it just Spicy Food Guy, or does everyone else snicker when they here that because it sounds like Forrest Gump talking to Jenny when he's about to go to Vietnam? But Spicy Food Guy digresses.

Jasper's, which rightly sells itself as "Gourmet Backyard Cuisine", placed Spicy Food Guy in a state of agonizing indecision when it came time to select an entree. On the one hand were the baby back ribs, listed in the menu as one of "Bon Appetit's Top Choices for America's Best Ribs." Sounds like a gimme, eh? Bon Appetit, knower of all things in savory foods, crowning king the ribs of Jaspers. An absolute no brainer.

However, throwing a giant wrench into the culinary cogs of Spicy Food Guy's decision making was another possibility, the chicken fried bone-in ribeye. Spicy Food Guy loves chicken fried steaks. Spicy Food Guy loves bone-in ribeye. And here at Jasper's some inspired genius combined the two.

Spicy Food Guy had Menu Paralysis.

In the end, Spicy Food Guy went with the ribs, so as not to walk away from one of America's best. And delicious they were, crispy blackened edges, juicy and pink in the middle, tender, falling off the bone. Spicy Food Guy did not regret any part of the entree decision.

Bonus? The aged Gouda-ham mac 'n' cheese as a side. Creamy with smoky cheese. Melted in Spicy Food Guy's mouth.

Great menu, great backyard food. Jasper's is Spicy Food Guy's kind of place. Go there.

The Best Ice Cream Shop in Pennsylvania

Canonsburg, PA needs a motto that fits its identity. The current motto, "The future is now, It is here in Canonsburg" rings hollow.

Technically, the motto is incorrect. The future is not now! By definition, it's later. That's why it's called the future. Spicy Food Guy supposes the leaders of Canonsburg could make the motto more factual -- "The present is now. It is here in Canonsburg." More accurate, but stupid.

If Spicy Food Guy ruled Canonsburg, he would, in an instant, change the motto to "Our Sarris Ice Cream Parlor kicks ass! Come get some." Spicy Food Guy would soooo get re-elected.

Sarris Candies is a rather serious western Pennsylvania regional business that specializes in great chocolate. Spicy Food Guy kids have been finding Sarris candies in their Easter Baskets for years. But as good as the Sarris folks are at chocolate, they are even better at ice cream.

The Sarris ice cream parlor is an old-fashioned, family fun type of place. It has one of those cool western style pianos that plays itself over in the corner. And the ice cream? Homemade, creamy, delicious, and lots and lots of it.

Spicy Food Guy had the Odd Couple, a giant scoop of vanilla covered in hot fudge, an even bigger scoop of chocolate topped with marshmallow sauce; the whole thing topped with whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles. That night, Spicy Food Guy lay on the couch and rubbed his purring tummy.

The future may not be now, but the ice cream is. Go to Sarris. So says Spicy Food Guy.

Spicy Food Guy Takes on Reading Station

As usual, for reasons best left unknown to the American public, Spicy Food Guy found himself away from home this past week. Specifically, SFG found himself in the Market Street Marriott in the City of Brotherly Love. Directly across the street from the Reading Terminal, better known as Palate's Paradise.

Reading Terminal originally was built as a market to serve the downtown pit stop of the Philadelphia and Reading Railroad (yes, the same railroad you can buy for $200 5 places after the Go square). Reading Terminal, smack in the middle of Center City, is now home to over 80 merchants, mostly food related.

On a tip from Smart and Sweet Colleague of Spicy Food Guy (SSCOSFG), SFG began his culinary adventures at Dinics, a heavily trafficked hole in the wall serving a broad array of three sandwiches: roast beef, roast pork, and roast veal. Spicy Food Guy went with the roast pork and sharp provolone sandwich -- juicy, tender, simple. The sharp tang of the provolone was the perfect offset to the roasted flavor of the pork.

Next Spicy Food Guy tried the place voted "Best in Philly" for hot dogs -- Franks a Lot. The name is funny, but the hot dog is snappy and delicious. Spicy Food Guy didn't much care for the chili used as a topping, but a plain dog with mustard is well worth a couple of bucks.

Finally, on the last morning, Spicy Food Guy tried a breakfast scrapple sandwich from the aptly named Dutch Eating Place. Spicy Food Guy had his scrapple served with egg and cheese (a white cheddar, SFG thinks) on wheat toast. Nothing quite like being served scrapple, a meat patty of pork trimmings and specifically designed to clog the arteries of middle aged white guys, by a sweet young Amish lady wearing a bonnet. It's worth a trip to Philly, even if you have to come from far away, just to eat a scrapple sandwich on wheat toast from the Dutch Eating Place.

So says Spicy Food Guy, who has traveled to Reading Terminal, and has returned feeling quite full.

Scotch Bonnet Peppers Make Killer Hot Sauces

Spicy Food Guy is a huge fan of hot sauces made with Scotch Bonnet peppers.

Scotch bonnets are natives of Jamaica, and are commonly found in many jerk seasonings. They are also known to keep away ghosts, or "duppies", as they are referred to on the Island. How a high-powered chile pepper that packs up to 350,000 scoville units came to be viewed as mystic protector against ghosts called duppies is a mystery to Spicy Food Guy, but he suspects that the early origins of this superstition have something to do with another powerful Jamaican plant called Cannabis Sativa. But Spicy Food guy digresses.

A superb example of a Scotch Bonnet Hot Sauce is Bodine's Fire in the Hole. Bodine's is known for its variety of fresh garlic, and they pack a lot of it in Fire in the Hole. The Scotch Bonnet Pepper brings the tart and smoky sweet-to-heat element that is so unique to the Scotch Bonnet.

Try it on chicken pot pie. Really. You'll thank me. So says Spicy Food Guy.

Spicy Pizza Done the Right Way

The thing about spicy pizza is, it's tough to do the right way while maintaining the authenticity of a Neapolitan pizza.

Sure, Spicy Food Guy is known to slather hot sauce on the standard delivery pizza, or order a pizza with hot peppers from the local pizza joint, but the effort rings hollow. It's bringing the heat without adding any value, if you get Spicy Food Guy's meaning.

Enter a cool little neighborhood haunt in the South Hills of Pittsburgh called Il Pizzaiolo. Known for authentic Neapolitan pizzas. The oven was purchased in Naples. The cheese is imported. The owner spent quality time in Italy. All that stuff.

And they serve the Diavola. According to the menu, it's a pizza dusted with chili powder and topped with a spicy pepperoni sausage. To Spicy Food Guy, it's heaven. Beautiful Spouse of Spicy Food Guy (BSOSFG) gets her Italian fix and Spicy Food Guy gets an authentic spicy pizza.

Everyone goes home happy and full. A great restaurant experience, so says Spicy Food Guy.

Honey Makers Bring Heat

Spicy Food Guy and Beautiful Spouse of Spicy Food Guy (BSOSFG) met Zane and Zack's Mom and Dad at Zestfest 2007. Nice family. They have lots of boys, lots of bees, but no daughters. Spicy Food Guy is OK with that. That's just how they roll, as Loud Only Son of Spicy Food Guy (LOOSOSFG) would say.

Besides making boys (three, at last count, Zane, Zack, and Hans. Hans probably coming as a real relief to realtives who were expecting Zippy or Zillow, but Spicy Food Guy digresses), Sam and his wife also make most excellent honey hot sauces. Spicy Food Guy particularly likes the Honey Chipotle Sauce and the Three Brothers Hot Pepper Sauce.

The Chipotle sauce is a thick mixture of roasted jalapenos and sticky honey. Think sweet and smoky. Spicy Food Guy mostly likes to mix it with mayonnaise for a summer burger grill out. The Three Brother Hot Pepper Sauce is great with fried eggs.

Zane and Zack's is good stuff, even if the owners are Seahawks fans. So says Spicy Food Guy, Steeler fan extraordinaire.